Take a moment to reflect on the way your parents spoke to you when you were younger. Was there a lot of criticism or praise? Maybe your parents made comments about how you could always be better or improve? Or perhaps parents were largely absent from your life and you didn’t have any positive feedback about who you are? Notice how much of the way you talk to yourselves is actually what your parents have said (or NOT said) to you. A friend told me that their “critical voice” often sounds like her mother. Another acquaintance acknowledged that their self talk is encouraging and cheerleading, much as his parents spoke to him. We may have learned or unlearned some things along the way, but by and large, our self talk and self-concept is shaped by the way we were talked to and treated as kids.
As parents of the modern age, we can have more awareness than our parents had in raising us. Be aware of the messages you may be sending to your children. Find ways to discipline and praise them so that they are empowered and self sufficient. For more information on how and for closer personal guidance, give me a call at 510-516-3748 to set up an appointment today!